I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
