I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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