you have to choose: penises or morals?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
