i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
