so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
