Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
