Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
