Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
