What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
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