even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Semen is not good for contacts.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize