Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
