Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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