maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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