so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
that's an acceptable place to lick
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
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