the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize