And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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