you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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