If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
