this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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