I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I think we might need a safe word for this...
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