That's intense
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
