Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I'm drive I can fine osifer
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
