Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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