i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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