I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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