I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
