TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
