if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
