my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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