Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
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