Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
