he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
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