he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I skipped work to stalk him.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize