hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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