I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
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