I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
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