Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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