I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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