2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
