sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
