We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
