then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
