dude i'm inner monologue high
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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