we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
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Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
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we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
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