oh god the rape fog is back!
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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