I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
