Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
