oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
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