I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Randomize
