next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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