I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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