ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
