Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
