I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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