no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
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I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
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Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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